What travels does to you

When I came back from my travels a lot of people asked me. ”What have you learnt during your travels?”

I never had a good answer and I still don’t. There were never any aha-moments. Sometimes I don’t even think that I’ve learnt anything and that I haven’t changed at all. But sometimes I feel like I’ve changed but I don’t know in what ways. It’s not like one day I was a certain way and then suddenly the next day I’m a new person.

There are a two things I want to bring up anyway:

If you want to change something you have to be ready to pull the weight, take action. To change something or initiate change are seldom easy. You have to be ready to pull the weight even if other people want the change. People wants everything served on a silver platter. Even me. You have to be ready to take the hard decisions and do what you think is right, even if other people think otherwise. You have to work harder than everybody else. When people see that you’ve put in the hard work they see that it’s something you care about and that’s maybe something they should care about as well. If you just talk about it and other people agree but nothing gets done. Nothing will change. Not your environment and not yourself. It is action that makes things happen, it’s action that drives things forward and it’s through action you show what your mean and your dedication. When you show that you are willing to dedicate yourself to something then others are prepared to follow. If you just talk, people don’t see your dedication. Why should they commit and dedicate themselves to something if you’re not doing it?

Appreciate what you have. When you travel you meet a lot of people and you experience a lot. During my years away I bonded with so many people and there were places I fell in love with. But sooner or later either they or I have to move on. It hurts. I never know if I’ll ever see them again or if I will come back to the same place again. And when you are standing there waiting for the bus, train or flight you wish you didn’t have to move on, you wish that time would stop and you could be in that place with the same people forever. But that is not how life works. Inside I know that it’s time to move on, not forget but move on. It maybe sounds a bit depressing. I don’t think it is. You miss it for a reason, right? It was real, it felt good and you had a really good time. Remember to appreciate what you have. I remind myself all the time. Because you don’t know how valuable everything is until you lose it.

There’s nothing quite like travel to show you what you had before you left – Unknown

These are two lessons I’ve learnt during my travels. And I will probably have to relearn them down the road since life lessons seems hard to learn.



”…Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Mission failed

Hey, missioned failed. Didn’t post 30 days in a row. It’s harder than you think to do that.

But I still remember the sequence though: 5910 7535 0278 6963 4572 3002 5072 9867 2372 4563 9163 7463 83 At least I think that’s the right one.

It seems like I’m just coming here to write when I’m struggling with myself. When I don’t feel like I’m enough. I know how to get out of it. Just accept it. How? notice the thoughts and feelings without any judgment. It’s also harder than it seems.

I feel like a schizofrenia, so many different voices in my head.

You suck.

Ok, I suck, that’s ok.

I should have done that, why didn’t you just do it.

I don’t know.

If I were just more confident, had more, willpower then everything would be so much better.

To think like that doesn’t help you. You will just destroy your self-esteem and confidence.

Ok, just try to notice your thoughts and feelings

Haha, I can’t even do that.

My mind is so crazy.

Why can’t someone like me for who I am?

Why should they when you don’t like who you are?

Do you see what I’m getting at. I have so many fucking voices some is putting me down. Some try to help me some know what to do but they/I don’t do what is needed. I know that a lot of other people have bigger problems than me. I’ve been just gliding through my life. Almost everything I’ve got and done have been easy. I never have had to push myself for anything. Well, that’s not true. I know that.

I guess it depends on what kind of headspace I’m in. Imagine if I could have my mind and body to work towards the same directions. My whole mind, it feels like it’s fragmented. There are a lot of metaphors. To talk to different parts of my brain. But it doesn’t feel like I can do it myself. Because I can’t have that part of my brain knowing what to do there all the time without censoring the other parts.

Honestly, I don’t expect you to know what I’m talking about. You probably need background knowledge in NLP and other psychological concepts. It would be so cool if I would be able to master them.

I watched Derren brown today again. Amazing what he can do. Most of me believes what I see. But another part of me says that I have to be sceptical. That’s good. I think everybody should have that part. But that part also undermines your confidence. Because you are never too sure about anything. When you’re acting confident your sure of yourself, or you trust yourself.

Anyway, this helped me to get into another kind of headspace. So I’m pretty much done writing now. I will think about how I will continue.

#27 the day before judgment day

Today is the day before judgement day and I don’t feel confident at all. I’ve procrastinated so much that I didn’t have time to do the last thing I was suppose to do. Anyway, that was so much information to cram into my head anyway. I know the main points and I hope that it will be enough.

Took a walk today just to relax. Haven’t really done much studying, mostly practicing guitar. That’s how I procrastinate.

IMG_20141102_151034 IMG_20141102_150532


Path to the light                                Autumn

Wish me good luck!

#24 What makes you special?

Someone asked me ”Why are you special?” today. I was like, wtf? Why are you asking me that? And foremost what should I answer? At first I thought about everything that I’ve done. My travels mostly, then everything else, what I studied, my career, personality traits. I couldn’t come up with anything.

It took me a while but in the end I answered ”I don’t think I’m special, that’s why I’m special.” I don’t know how many people think that they are special. In a way I think a lot of people see themselves as special. I couldn’t really come up with something that was special about me, then my combined experiences. Nobody have experience what I’ve experienced.

They could have experienced similar things but the combination of things is quite different.

What makes you special?

#23 Uncertainty and action

Business strategy is what I’m reading at the moment and I came across an interesting article. It talked about uncertainty in the environment and how to get out of it.

I think that some of the thoughts can be applied to everyday life as well. If there is too much uncertainty in ones life you can become paralyzed. You just don’t know what to do. It can happen in some situations as well.

The interesting thing is: Just do anything and work from there. When you do something you get feedback, ”oh, I shouldn’t have done that” or ”oh, that was great.” or ”oh, nobody cares” or whatever. You get new information and that’s more information than you had before.

Action absorbs uncertainty. No plans are perfect. Just have a plan and act on it.

#22 Pinchos

Visited Pinchos for the first time today. It was really nice. Tapas restaurant.

Expensive. But got my pay last week so it doesn’t matter. I had a really good time, met up with old friends and had a chat. Did some good studying as well. Could have been more productive but that’s ok.