The inner critic

I have a friend that can read my mind. You would think that he would understand and accept me as I am, but he doesn’t.

You see, I told you about this new dream I had and of course he knows about it as well. The first thing he does is to ask me. Where do you think you will get all the money from? I work hard. Ok, who are you gonna give it to? To someone you don’t know? Haha, where are you gonna find that person? And how do you know that you will help him? You maybe make it worse.

I give it to someone I know then. Haha, it’s gonna change your relationship forever. You think it’s gonna be easy to be friends after that. You gonna give that person so much pressure, it’s gonna be so hard to stay friends after that.

He doesn’t back down and if he has nothing to say he use this killer line, “Who do you think you are? Do you really think you can change the world? Wait, give me five minutes. It’s too fucking funny.” Yeah, who do I think I am? Even if I succeed with my dream, how many lives do I actually change? It’s not even proven that it works.

The thing is, he’s not my enemy but my friend. He is just trying to help me. He doesn’t want me to fail, he doesn’t want me to put in a lot of effort and then achieve nothing and most importantly he is a part of me. What kind of person am I if I don’t listen to myself? Or my friends? So, I gonna listen and then decide what to do. He plants the seed of doubt in my mind, but he has the best intention in mind. I think it’s needed, it’s good to be reminded to stay rooted in reality, but it is also good to take calculated risks and at the moment I think my dream is a risk worth taking.

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