I feel like writing something really awesome now, that hits spot on. That makes you think ”That’s really really profound, why didn’t I think of it?” or ”He’s so damn right” or ”I want to become a better person, I want to change”.
I also feel like I want to improve now, I want to inspire, I want to do meaningful stuff, I want to make a positive impact on the world, on my friends and family. I want to make everybody that has a relationship with me happy. I want to change the world. I want to be legendary!
Unfortunately my mind isn’t about the same opinion. It just want to sit back run on autopilot and watch a movie or listen to some inspiring stuff.
So, here I am forcing myself to write something, anything. One thing at the time, one thing at the time. I’m impatient. So inpatient now. I’m going to die soon. The times is running out and nobody will ever notice that I existed. I just gonna fade away like a hundred of billions of people before me.
It leads me back to the existential questions.
What is the meaning of my life?
Why am I here?
Am I just a nobody?
I ask them. To everybody and god. But nobody has an answer.