Sometimes when I think the thought I’m writing about I feel very enlightened and very wise. If I’m not careful I also become somewhat arrogant. What I mean with that is that I think that I’m better than everybody else. What the hell do they know? I know so much more about life and how we are suppose to live it. I somehow put myself over everybody else and when I talk to people I talk down to them.
Most of the times I don’t even recognize it. I don’t even register that until I notice or I see somebody else act arrogant and see myself in that person. Then I realize what a fool I’ve been. I’m not better than everybody else and I shouldn’t think that either. But in the same way I’m not ever worse than anybody else neither are you. Sometimes I have to remind myself about that as well.
During this trip I feel like I’ve gotten more serious. Live your life to the fullest. Don’t waste precious time. Remember you will die. I don’t know. I just got that feeling. When I’m interacting with people I connect with older people more easily and the topics we cover are mostly “deeper” topics. I somewhat miss the playfulness.
I think I can be pretty playful sometimes. Just joke around and basically act like a little obnoxious kid. It doesn’t come as easily to me anymore. It’s a shame. I think it has to do a little bit of the arrogance and a little bit that I want to know that people in my age think about that stuff as well. Because sometimes I feel like I’m too young to think about that stuff.
It’s more to life than trying to figure it out. Like having fun? Not like big fun like, big parties or do some crazy shit. Just see everyday life as fun. Just gonna give you an example. In Taiwan I ride scooters mostly with my aunts. One day I went with my big aunt and we almost hit a car. She cursed the car. Another day I went with my smaller aunt. We almost hit a car and she laughed about it. See the fun in it.