What do I really want

Those three is what beliefs I think I’ve got on this journey. What’s on my mind a lot now is “What is it that I really want?”

To be the best I can be

Why?

To teach my kids and help them become the best they want to be.

Why?

So that they can reach their potential.

Why?

Then they’ll be happy and live a good life.

What does that mean to you?

That would make me feel good/happy. So you want to be happy?

Yes, I think so.

Isn’t there another way to be happy? Can’t you be happy now?

… Yes, I can probably and I think I’m happy. But I still want to be the best that I can be.

Why? Does it matter if I’m happy on the way? Can I be?

Is it the truth or is it just rationalizations?

Does it matter if it’s rationalizations?

That’s the conversation I have all the time in my head. I want to grow as a person. I don’t wanna be the person I am today when I die. It’s not that I would be unhappy if I die today either. I don’t know how to explain it.

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