I was taking a short walk to meet a friend before just to have dinner and say goodbye. I didn’t know what the feeling was, but I think I know now. Sentimental? Is that even a feeling? A little bit of sadness, a little bit of nostalgia and some other things. I don’t know how to explain it. But during my walk a lot of thing flashed through my mind. My first day here in Australia, all the people I’ve met, everything I’ve experienced both good and bad. Now, I’m leaving everything. I think it’s time to leave everything as well. Even though it’s right and I know that I had wonderful experiences here I still feel that I don’t want to leave. Some part of me still wants to stay, still wants to hang out with the people I met here. Continue to live the life I’ve been living for almost 5 month. So weird! I should be happy about it. It was great but now it’s time to move on. Why am I feeling this?
After the dinner I started to think about it again. I think I have a hard time letting things go. I remembered when I was a kid and someone wanted have something that I didn’t want to have. I still said that they can lend it. I wasn’t giving it to them. I didn’t even want it! It was the same thing when we traded cards like pokemon or other things. I was very reluctant to do that because I thought I maybe would regret it later.
I didn’t feel the same thing about leaving Sweden though. I think it’s because I know that one day I will return. I don’t know why, but it makes sense.
Here is the thing. Right before I sat down to write this I was thinking. It’s nothing wrong to feel this way. Of course you will be sentimental. You had a great time here and you get this feeling because it meant a lot to you. So it’s ok to feel this. Actually I learnt it from a friend, accept your feeling and I met a friend who has the same attitude here. Great tip. I guess I know how it works, why it works, but can’t get It to work. Anyway, it would be so much weirder if I didn’t felt a thing. I don’t think that would bug me. But I think that would be a bigger problem.