Something I’ve been thinking about is the experience in Cairns. Well, the whole experience in Australia actually. I’m living in one of my dreams right now and it feels so good. I’m not even sure I realize it yet. So much stuff were happening all the time, my life here are so much different compared to my life back home.
But I noticed a pattern. You are not like happy, glad, high all the time. You have moments when you are very happy and moments when you are unhappy. In the beginning I thought that it was something wrong with me. Why can’t I appreciate what I have? I’m living one of my biggest dreams right now. Slowly I’m starting to realize that I can’t be happy all the time. And it’s not something wrong if you struggling sometimes. It’s normal. And I’m beginning to believe that it’s a part of life.
Your emotional roller coaster it’s a part of life. It creates depth in your life. I’m just making this up right now. Of course life is more complex than this. But just for fun. Imagine that life is two dimensional Width and Depth. Width is all the experience you have from the worse to the best. Depth is all the emotions you have from euphoric to the deepest of depression. Just realizing that this is a poor model.
Still I hope I explained something at least. Sometimes you feel good, sometimes you feel bad. Sometimes you do the most exciting thing, sometimes you do the most boring thing in the world. And this is the way it I and this is the way it’s supposed to be. It’s normal and it’s a part of life.
Maybe it can help me or you to feel better at times when it feels hard. But I doubt that. When it’s hard, it’s difficult to see the other side. Fuck you and your philosophy!
But you will make it through and realize that you are strong. That you are capable.